Ask the Astro Poets: What Happens When You Date Someone Who Shares Your Sign?

Ask the Astro Poets is the monthly advice column by W‘s resident astrologers, Alex Dimitrov (Sagittarius) and Dorothea Lasky (Aries). At the halfway point of every month, they take a breather from writing poetry and horoscopes, and take your questions about love, career, even the big existential questions in life. From matchmaking and compatibility, to friendship, professional, and dating advice, the poets of the stars are here to guide you through any challenge:

Dear Astro Poets,

I’m a Libra who’d nearly given up on finding love. I was painting random men I met on Tinder for kicks, except one who was an Aries and who refused to be painted. I fell hard; we got an apartment together three weeks later. It’s been six months and our relationship is excellent. He even lets me paint him now! Unfortunately, though, in true Aries fashion, wherever he goes, he does not mind starting a few fires. When he’s not yelling at people to stop bicycling on the sidewalk, he’s punching guys who were flirting with me. I’m tired of sewing up his leather jackets and apologizing to strangers. Is there any way to gently pour water on a fire sign?

A Peace-Seeking Libra

Dear Peace-Seeking Libra,

I’m surprised he didn’t move in with you after three hours instead of three weeks. When an Aries wants something, they will be relentless and impulsive. When it comes to love, it’s exciting, but it can also lead to high drama. A Libra isn’t exactly the sign who wants someone punching people for them. (Though in theory, I bet a Leo would like that.) You’re way too elegant, calculated, and, well, as you put it, peace-seeking. No matter how upset a Libra is, they will scheme more than they will act out. Fire signs are the wild things of the zodiac—like that scene in Kenneth Anger’s Scorpio Rising where all the bikers are riding together, dressed in black leather, as if they’re in some cult. Sometimes being in a relationship with a fire sign really does feel like you’ve joined a cult!

The passion with an Aries is not going to let up. That’s the good news—and maybe the bad news for air signs. When you’re in a relationship with an Aries, the ups and downs are daily. Hourly? Every 30 seconds? I’m not going to name names, but once a triple Aries man I was dating threw a plate across the room and broke it because he was feeling a certain way, and this was maybe only the fourth time we had hung out. (We only lasted two weeks.) Now, I’m a fire sign, so I get it. But as a Sagittarius, while I can withstand the drama, at some point, I also find it boring and just tune out or disappear. And so in that case, I did.

What should you do? Well, I get being turned on by that person who won’t let you paint them—or who won’t come over easily, text back right away, etc. Though honestly—and you probably know this by now—Aries aren’t that hard to get; they just pretend to be hard to get for about 1.5 seconds. Now you do finally have him, but there are too many explosions. But the explosions have to be worthwhile somehow. You can’t always be doing emotional labor for this Aries. And that’s something an Aries enjoys testing the boundaries of. So sit him down and be really direct about the fact that you can’t babysit him every time he has a feeling. Or, if it happens again, show him by example that you just won’t tolerate it by ending the night or something along those lines.

Still, I have to be honest with you: the fire doesn’t really go away. And it can often feel childlike and irrational. You just have to decide for yourself if it’s really worth it. Maybe it is! The grand-sweeping, all-consuming passion with an Aries can be a beautiful thing. I guess your sewing skills will really be tested. Personally, I can’t sew! And I’m not entirely convinced it’s worth it to learn. But of course, like poetry, love has nothing to do with logic.

Your free Sagittarius,

Alex

Dear Astro Poets,

I just met the man of my dreams. I’m a Taurus sun with a Leo rising and Cancer moon. He’s a Taurus sun as well, with a Gemini rising and a Pisces moon. I’ve never felt so unbelievably elated with a person before, and we’ve only gone out twice. I can tell he’s also very into it, but I keep having to remind myself that he’s just gone through a divorce so this may not work out. But then I think, “He’s a Taurus, too, and if anyone can jump into another relationship after leaving one behind…”

I’m trying to have no expectations, but the feeling is enough that I’m willing to cut my losses if it doesn’t work out. But my intuition tells me it would be amazing if it did work out, so I don’t want to seem like I’m not interested when I’m just being cautious. What the hell do I do with this bull?

Yours,

Terribull in Love

Dear Actually Terrificbull in Love,

I love this Taurus-centric, Taurus-focused question! Because we aren’t yet in it, but in a few weeks we will be approaching Taurus season—the season of romance, affection, slow-cooked dinners, even slower lovemaking, and sweet, sweet love songs. I seriously can’t wait. I love Taurus everything.

All signs have the ability to find romance with people of the same sign, but not all of these scenarios have longevity. For example, Aries on Aries is supposed to be pretty okay, but every time I meet another Aries, I just roll my eyes. The one time I was into an Aries, the feelings lasted about 10 seconds, and ended in a sort of profound repulsion that I’ve never felt since. There are other same sign combinations that are particularly exciting. For example, whenever two water signs get together, it’s always a lot of WHOA, okay, okay. I’ve had lots of Cancer friends, and it’s always so cute when the two of them get together—it’s like two puppies running towards each other in a very light drizzle. Likewise, Scorpio on Scorpio happens a lot and is pure magnetism for a while, but then they eventually bore each other to death. And Pisces on Pisces really is like four fish swimming and having sex at the same time—a total weepy house party.

But Taurus on Taurus is really good. The thing with a Taurus is that once they’ve decided something, they aren’t going to change their minds. This means that when a Taurus commits to anyone, they’re really into for the long haul and beyond. Just imagine what this means, when two Tauruses decide on one another. Well, you don’t have to imagine—it’s your reality.

I loved reading your question because it reminded me of how Tauruses are so delightful when they’re falling in love. Despite their extreme practicality about most things in life, when they feel the inklings of romance, it’s like they’re the first person ever to feel anything. They love the new stirrings of aching and longing for another person. They’re great at demonstrating just how much they enjoy it and just how devoted they are to the person who made them feel this way. It’s an amazing thing to witness. I can’t lie—it gives me some hope.

In truth, I think you should be excited about your new relationship. Obviously, I don’t know the particulars of his past relationship, but you’re right to think that all Tauruses would be down for some new chance at happiness. Plus, your water moons are so compatible and were in love before your Taurus suns even realized that you were. Your Leo-Gemini risings means that you are both capable of throwing a party or two eventually, which will be good to do after you’ve both spent the better part of the spring and summer hiding under the covers feeding chocolates to each other.

So, what am I saying? Enjoy it! It’s almost spring. And you’re a Taurus. I know you’ve worked hard at so many things and earned this joy. Have fun, beautiful one.

Love,

Dorothea

Related: The Astro Poets Are Here to Help You Prep for 2018’s First Mercury Retrograde