An Astrological Guide to Taylor Swift

It’s Virgo season, but that’s never stopped a Sagittarius like Taylor Swift from taking over. Her moody and catchy new album Lover is out on Friday, which of course got us thinking of the countless bops she’s given us over the years. As it turns out, they more or less span all our moods and every zodiac sign, too. So, which TSwift song are you?

Aries: “Red”

Loving an Aries really might be like driving a new Maserati down a dead-end street. There’s just no other color to associate with this cardinal fire sign. They are intense and impulsive. They can also disappear from your life just as fast as they appear, which more or less is the vibe of this now Taylor classic. Whatever the case, an Aries is unforgettable. You’ll feel an unsustainable, obsessive passion when you’re with them. You’ll probably also try to write poetry about them, ignore your friends, and skip out on just about anything to see them again. Clearly “Red” was written for an Aries.

Taurus: “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together”

Sure, this song sounds hopeful and upbeat, but after a few moments you know it’s about as pessimistic and single-minded as humanly possible. After all, no matter what happens, Taylor is “never ever” getting back together with her ex, regardless of how he tries to win her back (like getting his friends to conspire, which is just so earthy). He really should have known things weren’t going to end well when he said he “needed space,” which is blasphemy to any Taurus. This song knows what it wants and isn’t going to waste time or put up with nonsense. Total Taurus.

Gemini: “I Knew You Were Trouble”

We love a chaotic Gemini just as much as the next person (really we do), but let’s not pretend we don’t know what we’re getting into at the outset of dating one. Taylor is at her playful best here while still evoking regret and heartbreak. She has a knack for that. And so do Geminis, who are certainly not vindictive but really casual about starting up trouble in your life. It’s just who they are. They won’t ever take responsibility for what they’ve done wrong and they certainly don’t take criticism well. They aren’t troubled like a Scorpio, for example, but they’re definitely trouble.

Cancer: “Call It What You Want”

This song, like any good Cancer, is incredibly romantic. It details a lot of struggles that Taylor has gone through and asserts that none of them matter now that her lover is around. A big old heap of sweet domestic love has cured Taylor, while she’s been holed up inside some big living room “for months” with her man who she trusts “like a brother” (super Cancer), as they make “forts under covers.” This sounds great to us. Who wouldn’t want some hot person to save you from how awful life can get, ready to build “a fire just to keep you warm”? Is he maybe a Cancer, too? Oh who knows. Pass the hot cocoa because this song is all Cancer energy.

Leo: “Gorgeous”

A little sweet, a little cool, extremely confident—that’s Leos. And that’s also on Taylor’s mind in this song as she obsesses over how perfect this unattainable person is and how much she hates that. Leos can definitely appear flawless. There’s something both warm and unapproachable about them because of their confidence and their “magnetic field being a little too strong.” It gets really real when Taylor admits that she has a boyfriend but still can’t stop thinking about them. And honestly, being the Sagittarius that she is, it makes total sense that she wants what she can’t have. Leo energy is addictive.

Virgo: “Blank Space”

This love ballad really knows how to seduce a person. “I’ve got a blank space baby and I’ll write your name” would make anyone feel special—I mean, come on, who wouldn’t be wooed? But the sultry, impersonal glare of this song is what makes it a classic Virgo love spell. “Blank Space” is definitely dreamy and sensual with its “cherry lips, crystal skies.” But then, just like a Virgo, it tells it like it is. Taylor doesn’t pull any punches when she lets her “darling” know that she’s “a nightmare dressed like a daydream.” Glad she warned us at least!

Libra: “Style”

Libras are a slow and sexy build, just like this song. First of all, no one has more style than a Libra. They have a particular way of doing just about anything. When it comes to romance, it’s just like Taylor sings here, “midnight, long drive” everything fading into view—Libras are aesthetic creatures! They will seduce you with all their planning and how immaculate and seamless your dates will feel. “James Dean daydream” also evokes something very classic, which is definitely in character for most Libras.

Scorpio: “Bad Blood”

It’s hard to imagine any other Taylor song for a Scorpio. It really does draw some definite lines in the sand to let us know that the person “Bad Blood” is referring to is a mortal enemy. It’s also intense like a Scorpio, with its memories of “mad love” and back peddling in emotional storms, letting us know that it’s going to “take time” to “erase” whoever this unfortunate person is. Basically whoever inspired Taylor to write “Bad Blood” is totally fucked for all of eternity, because even though she’s a Sagittarius and will probably forgive them eventually, this song definitely won’t.

Sagittarius: “The Archer”

Taylor is a Sagittarius, and this song not only embraces the classic Sagittarius iconography—a bow and arrow—but also the mood of the sign. Yes, this mutable fire sign is always ready for combat. Yes, that’s also going to lead to some mistakes and to pushing away even people that are good for them. But that’s the archer for you. Fiercely independent, and a little impulsive too. There’s also a real melancholy to this song that tries to show both tenderness and strength, which is a very Sagittarius combination. In fact, Sags aren’t given enough credit for how tender they are. Taylor’s entire discography is basically about love.

Capricorn: “You Need to Calm Down”

The second single from Lover pretty much epitomizes Capricorn energy. For all two minutes and 51 seconds it tells us what we’ve done incorrectly and how we really need to simmer down because we’re absolutely in the wrong. Of course, like any good Capricorn, it’s definitely right. If we’re up writing shitty things to people on Twitter at “7 a.m.,” we probably really do need to “just stop.” More than any other Taylor song, this one feels like an anthem. And what Capricorn would give up the opportunity to rouse everybody to fight good over evil? Okay, now please sit down and listen to its wisdom.

Aquarius: “Sparks Fly”

Okay, now for a retro Taylor moment that is so Aquarius. This song really describes how all-consuming a love affair can be, especially if it’s with someone who seems like “a bad idea.” No offense to Aquarians, but their aloofness is both a turn on and definitely a bad idea in the long run for anyone as needy as Taylor. (We can’t blame her—we’re the same.) But truly who cares about being practical when you have a hot Aquarius in front of you? They’re weird and cerebral and will definitely make you want to “drop everything now” just to follow them around.

Pisces: “Delicate”

Pisces are so sexy and sweet—just like this song. “Delicate” is all about a torrid affair and how complicated new love is when people are in other relationships but realize they are actually mad for each other. This song is ready to meet you wherever you are, like a “dive bar on the east side” (uh, are you sure about that?) or the “third floor on the west side” (sounds a bit better) It won’t “make any promises now,” but that doesn’t mean it’s not going to bear its soul to you and dream about you for all of time. You know you like this mood. How could you not? It’s so watery and Pisces.

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