Real Housewives of NY, we missed you!

Bethenny would rather go naked.

Let us now turn our attentions to last night’s crack-a-lackin’ episode of The Real Housewives of New York, shall we? Words can’t express how much we’ve missed The Countess & Company, and in the Season Three opener, the ladies did not disappoint. Sure, we got a little sidetracked by our surprise fondness for the Jersey broads, but after watching the New Yorkers clawing at each other with the intensity of a thousand blazing suns, our office obsession has shifted back across the Hudson River, where it belongs.

In an effort to bring something new to the conversation, however, we’ll confine our chatter to how the Gotham gals present. When we can name-check actual fashion and jewelry items, we will do so. But since we all have real work to do, and the Bravo publicists guard their charges like convicted terrorists at Guantanamo, we probably won’t be very helpful on that front. (Just so you know…)

Ramona’s new ‘do

Though there are allegedly two new Housewives headed our way, in the premiere, we didn’t have to concern ourselves with What’s-Her-Face and What’s-Her-Face. Instead we got to see Ramona’s fresh new shoulder-skimming ‘do (thumbs way up, although we weren’t really feeling her “older Cameron Diaz” scenario); Bethenny butt naked save for pasties (she was posing for a PETA anti-fur billboard, and girlfriend’s got it going on…); and poor, stressed-out LuAnn looking as if she hadn’t slept in weeks. In the Countess’s defense, much of the scenes were shot outdoors in the Hamptons, but between the divorce and a decided lack of eyeliner, she just wasn’t her usual hyper-polished self. But that’s okay, because next week, we get to see her in a music studio transforming herself into a rich, titled, mommy version of Miley Cyrus. We’re counting the seconds.