Everyone Calm Down: Jennifer Aniston Is “Not Heartbroken”

It’s officially September issue season, which, as of this morning, has brought a lengthy, animated interview with Jennifer Aniston along with it. Indeed, the ground that Aniston covered in her cover story for InStyle is quite remarkable—she not only talked about everything from being a “creeper” on social media to how she “fantasize[s]” about a Friends reunion, but also found time mid-interview to Google herself, outsourcing assistance to tackle the apparently enormous pool of options for what might be the biggest misconception about her. “Let’s see,” she said while typing, before adding, “Oh, look, I’m having a $100,000 revenge makeover!”

As far as that one goes, Aniston minced no words describing how she’s dealt with much, much worse. “It’s pretty crazy. The misconceptions are ‘Jen can’t keep a man,’ and ‘Jen refuses to have a baby because she’s selfish and committed to her career.’ Or that I’m sad and heartbroken,” she said, referring to some of the “ridiculous headlines” about her that may ring a bell. They’ve followed Aniston and, according to her, “gotten more and more absurd” for years and years. They’ve also, of course, been proliferating since this past February, when Aniston and her partner of six years, Justin Theroux, announced that they were separating (and, in fact, had been separated since the end of 2017).

Here’s hoping she and Theroux really are buddies who “still talk all the time,” or else the takedown she proceeded to deliver might also serve as a rude awakening. “First, with all due respect, I’m not heartbroken,” Aniston said simply. “And second, those are reckless assumptions. No one knows what’s going on behind closed doors. No one considers how sensitive that might be for my partner and me. They don’t know what I’ve been through medically or emotionally,” she continued.

Aniston also spoke more generally about double standards for women, pointedly asking, “When was the last time you read about a divorced, childless man referred to as a spinster?” Opening things up to outside of Hollywood, she then addressed how women are “deemed damaged goods” if they don’t give in to the “pressure” to be mothers—something she personally takes issue with, too. “Maybe my purpose on this planet isn’t to procreate. Maybe I have other things I’m supposed to do,” she added. (Rest assured, the casual mention she makes of her “kids” later in the story is only in reference to her dogs.)

Related: Jennifer Aniston Is No Longer Dating Actors