The Secret Celebrity Group Texts of Hollywood, Ranked
Stars: They’re just like us! Meaning at any given moment they’re probably in a half dozen group texts, some more entertaining than the others. Unlike us, however, those group texts can include people like Emma Stone, Gigi Hadid, or Meryl Streep, and not, say, your great-aunt Linda, your friend’s boyfriend you can’t stomach, or your roommate from five years ago. Indeed, while the point of a group text is to keep communication enclosed in a private group, that hasn’t stopped stars from at least alerting us to the fact that some of these VIP chains exist. How tantalizing it is to imagine what’s in them.
Here, we’ve ranked all the known celebrity group texts, from the ones we’d probably put on “Do Not Disturb” (sorry NYSNC) to the ones we’d probably get kicked out of for blowing up too much.
NYSNC
What you think is in there: Shit talk about the Backstreet Boys. What’s probably in there: “✓Read: 10:45 am”
While this might seem like it could be full of juicy TRL-era gossip and throwback photo manna, one must remember that the boys of NYSNC are now all in their late 30s and 40s. This not a demographic particularly known for their group text savvy, and back in 2017 Joey Fatone revealed that the boy banders are no exception. At the time, he revealed that the last message in the group was one he sent weeks before wishing everyone else a happy Fourth of July. Apparently, no one bothered replying. Maybe things have gotten a little more popping after four of the five members reunited to join Ariana Grande onstage at Coachella and rumors of a Justin Timberlake–less reunion tour have swirled. Maybe. But we’re not pinning our hopes on it.
The Royal Family
What you think is in there: Meghan and Kate sending passive-aggressive memes. What’s probably in there: Prince Phillip sending minion memes.
Have you not seen The Crown? The whole theme seems to be that it’s a lot more fun speculating about the goings-on of the royal family from the outside than it would be to actually live in it. Besides, of course, for the existence of an actual royal family group text. Mike Tindall, the husband of Zara Tindall (Princess Anne’s granddaughter) has confirmed he’s in a family group chat with some of Zara’s cousins (which may or may not include princes Harry and William), and some thinly sourced gossip items have claimed that there may be royal group chats even more royal than that. Then again, the rumors don’t particularly lead us to believe there is some magical group chat where Meghan sends Kate memes.
The This Is Us Cast
What you think is in there: Spoilers about what you’ll be crying over next. What’s probably in there: “Getting coffee…anyone want anything?”
While doing research for this piece, we discovered that the This Is Us cast has a group text. It’s probably fun for them, but they’re also colleagues on a full season broadcast television drama who see each other nearly every week during filming, so we doubt they’re dropping the juiciest tidbits in their group chat.
The Victoria’s Secret Angels
What you think is in there: The secrets to being beautiful. What is actually in there: The secrets to being beautiful, duh.
Yes, there is a massive group text involving all the regular Victoria’s Secret girls, and yes, it’s full of exactly what you’d expect. At least, that’s what Josephine Skriver told us once. “We’re all also in this massive group text we have going on all year, which is like a little support system of sisters on hold for whatever, really, from specific workouts to ‘Hey, I need food recommendations for this city,’” she dished. “It’s definitely helpful to have a panel of opinions when you want to know if your outfit’s cute for that night. Usually, if 50 percent of them say yes, I’ll go out in it.”
The Avengers Group Chat
What you think is in there: Spoilers. What’s probably in there: Jokes at the expense of Jeremy Renner.
The Avengers franchise as we know it is about to come to an end this Friday, but the main cast members will always have that group chat. According to Jeremy Renner, though, the cast members mostly just use it to roast Jeremy Renner.
Brie Larson, Jennifer Lawrence, and Emma Stone
What you think is in there: Memes they get access to before the general public. What’s probably in there: Genuine love and support.
No one knows what it’s like to be a relatively young winner of the best actress Oscar other than other relatively young winners of the best actress Oscar, so they’ve all started a group text to support one another. Larson explained as much in a Vanity Fair profile back in 2017. “Emma wrote this beautiful e-mail out of nowhere, and then one day Jen sent me a text message after she saw Room, and we started talking,” she said. “That (group of friends) saved my life. I was able to talk with them about everything that was going on in my life, and it was with people who had been through it before and are also hilarious. That support and acceptance was everything. I was home-schooled, so I didn’t have friends that had the same interests as me, and I found it to be absolutely incredible.” Though they are not young Oscar winners, Amy Schumer and Lena Dunham were eventually admitted to the thread as well.
The Cast of Ocean’s 8
What you think is in there: Memes they get access to before the general public. What’s probably in there: Genuine love and support.
If we’re all being honest, maybe Ocean’s 8 didn’t quite live up it to its promise, but we can’t take issue with the fact that it assembled a near perfect cast. Nor can we deny that the cast started a group text. Mindy Kaling even gave a live demonstration of that group text on Ellen, though it did seem perhaps like it was preplanned. That won’t stop us from imagining what it’s really like though.
The Improved Big Little Lies Cast
What you think is in there: Recommendations for good books and white wines. What’s probably in there: Meryl Streep absolutely going awf.
We already knew that the BLL cast kept in constant contact via text, but Nicole Kidman recently revealed that Meryl Streep has joined in the chain as she joined the show’s second season. She’s apparently funny, according to Kidman.
