CULTURE

Cardi B Just Ethered Tomi Lahren So You Don’t Have to Anymore

“I will dog walk you.”

Jan. 20, 2019

MICKALENE THOMAS

Good news! You no longer have to bother clapping back at the Fox News personality Tomi Lahren, because Cardi B is here to do it for you.

It was Lahren who provoked the Twitter spat by finally noticing (about a week too late, mind you) Cardi’s viral Instagram lecture about the government shutdown, tweeting, “Looks like @iamcardib is the latest genius political mind to endorse the Democrats. HA! Keep it up, guys! #MAGA2020.” Lahren, of course, thrives on attention and has reveled in celebrity feuds in the past, so it’s no surprise she tagged Cardi in the tweet, no doubt hoping to spark her ire. While in most cases it is best to just completely ignore professional political trolls like Lahren, Cardi responded by completely paying her dust.

“Leave me alone I will dog walk you,” she replied.

Lahren shot back by calling Cardi’s politics “moronic,” and that’s when the Bronx rapper let loose.

“You’re so blinded with racism that you don’t even realize the decisions the president you root for is destroying the country you claim to love so much,” she wrote. “You are a perfect example on no matter how educated or smart you think you are you still a SHEEP!”

Well, damn! Dog walk her she did.

[#tweet: https://twitter.com/iamcardib/status/1086906901328084993]

[#tweet: https://twitter.com/iamcardib/status/1086990411770384384]

Lahren rose to a level of fame (or at least infamy) by delivering a starter pack of Fox News–informed, white-uncle conservative hot takes with a sort of performative indignation on a string of programs on conservative outlets like One America News Network and Glenn Beck’s the Blaze, before being signed to Fox News in 2017. Her notoriety stems almost as much from the fact that conservatives were captivated by her as it does from the fact that those on the left found her quizzically annoying (which is why it’s perhaps best to just ignore her, under normal circumstances).

But it seems Cardi does represent something of the perfect foil to Lahren. Both women were born within a few months of each other, in 1992, and both women gravitated toward politics in college, even if their ultimate goal was to find themselves in front of the camera. Both also achieved notoriety through social media.

It’s also more than hypocritical for Lahren to call Cardi’s anti-shutdown clip “political ramblings,” considering Lahren’s own delivery of her “professional” political monologues isn’t exactly meant to be toned down and thoroughly academic. Her rants are just as hot, if not more so. One of the biggest differences? While Lahren pre-plans her own rants, Cardi’s was delivered impromptu, off the cuff (yes, Cardi gets points for essentially politically freestyling). Another? Cardi has a whole other career to attend to (quite successfully, we might add).

That was made clear after Cardi shut down another troll who came for her.

After an anonymous account asked if she was going to pay for his insurance, Cardi pointed out that, well, yeah, because she’s paying about $4 million in taxes this year.

Indeed, for all the “but my tax dollars!” indignation, at the end of the day, Cardi is certainly paying more tax dollars right now than your average Lahren watcher (and, indeed, than Lahren herself), and by their standards has just as much right, if not more, to go off about the goings-on in Washington.