Ask the Astro Poets: How Do I Finally Get Over My Exes?
Twitter’s favorite astrologers have all the advice you need on who you should start letting in—and who you should stop.
Ask the Astro Poets is the monthly advice column by W‘s resident astrologers, Alex Dimitrov (Sagittarius) and Dorothea Lasky (Aries). At the halfway point of every month, they take a breather from writing poetry and horoscopes, and take your questions about love, career, even the big existential questions in life. From matchmaking and compatibility, to friendship, professional, and dating advice, the poets of the stars are here to guide you through any challenge:
Dear Astro Poets,
I’m a Cancer who can’t stop thinking about my exes—even in my current relationship. I’m dating a Leo and it’s going great, but I’m always in a state of “what if?” when I remember my old flames, an Aries and a Scorpio. Are Cancers ever able to get over anyone or anything? Please help!
A Nostalgic Cancer
Dear Nostalgic Cancer,
Your question comes right at the beginning of Cancer season, a time that’s usually more reflective for Cancers as is. Birthdays are often bittersweet for your people because it’s like being dipped in the sea of time—you feel and remember everything, sometimes all at once. First, I should say that all of the signs you list as having dated or are dating are very hot matches for a Cancer. No wonder you can’t forget them. Maybe you should all just get together and have a… never mind, I’ll just answer your question!
Cancers are ruled by the moon, which is constantly shifting in how it reveals itself to us. It’s moody, elusive, and entirely singular. This makes Cancers quite mercurial. You’re prone to wild mood swings and longings for the past, even if that past isn’t necessarily happy or how you imagined things. You find comfort in the intimacy that was forged there. Even if it wasn’t ideal, Cancers have a hard time getting over any intimacy they’ve had with someone. The crab’s impulse to protect, nurture, and create comes from the past’s residues, which of course does not make for an easy life. Emotionally, it’s daunting. It’s also daunting for your partners, who have to learn how to navigate your complicated relationship with past and present dramas.
Step Aside for Celebrity Cancers Selena Gomez, Lana Del Rey, and Lindsay Lohan
Selena Gomez, born July 22nd, photographed by Steven Klein for W Magazine, March 2016.
Lana Del Rey, born June 21st, photographed by Jacob Sutton for W Magazine, January 2012.
Gisele Bundchen, born July 20th, photographed by Michael Thompson for W Magazine, June 2005.
Meryl Streep, born June 22nd, photographed by Michael Thompson for W Magazine, May 2006.
Will Ferrell, born July 16th, photographed by Juergen Teller for W Magazine, February 2014.
Mindy Kaling, born June 24th, photographed by Pari Dukovic for W Magazine, August 2015.
Tobey Maguire, born June 27th, photographed by Tierney Gearon for W magazine, February 2007.
Lindsay Lohan, born July 2nd, photographed by Brigitte Lacombe for W Magazine, January 2018.
Margot Robbie, born July 2nd, photographed by Tim Walker for W Magazine, February 2019.
Tom Cruise, born July 3rd, photographed by Juergen Teller for W Magazine, February 2013.
Benedict Cumberbatch, born July 19th, photographed by Tim Walker for W Magazine, February 2015.
Camila Mendes, born June 29th, photographed by Heather Hazzan for W Magazine, June 2018.
Joel Edgerton, born June 23rd, photographed by Craig McDean for W Magazine, February 2017.
Diane Kruger, born July 15th, photographed by Santiago and Mauricio for W Magazine, October 2012.
Liv Tyler, born July 1st, photographed by Vanina Sorrenti for W Magazine, August 2016.
Topher Grace , born July 12th, photographed by Sian Kennedy for W Magazine, January 2005.
Olivia Munn, born July 3rd, photographed by David Slijper for W Magazine, September 2014.
Tom Hanks, born July 9th, photographed by Juergen Teller for W Magazine, Best Performances 2018.
Eva Green, born July 6th, photographed by Mert and Marcus for W Magazine, August 2016.
Priyanka Chopra, born July 18th, photographed by Mario Sorrenti for W Magazine, October 2016.
Willem Dafoe, born July 22nd, photographed by Tim Walker for W Magazine, February 2019.
I truly believe that this struggle is real for you. My two longest relationships were with Cancers, born on July 7th and July 4th. To this day, after many months, both will text me out of the blue, and by the fourth or fifth text it feels like we’re dating again. (Not that we are, but the aura behind a Cancer text is usually deeply emotive.) They can’t just ask me to get a drink or invite me to an event—they have to feel out what I’m thinking and feeling about them through a series of passive questions. What I’m telling you is: Don’t do that. It doesn’t work. At least not with a fire sign. I’m a Sagittarius, and one of your exes is an Aries, and I can tell you that it will just drive a fire sign crazy. Just text us when you want to get a divorce. We really don’t have time to write Remembrance of Things Past (Proust, obviously a Cancer) over text.
As for your other ex, the Scorpio, are you kidding? Unless you absolutely want to be in bed with them after the first drink, don’t text them. That’s a whole other kind of storm. Scorpios are just as nostalgic and sensitive as Cancers, but much more manipulative. You’ll both end up trying to use each other, and the Scorpio will likely peace out unharmed. I say stay with your Leo. Just make sure you tell them their hair looks great. (In addition to charming them in the kitchen, which is every Cancer’s domain.)
Your Cancer-loving Sagittarius,
Alex
Spring Into Aries Season With Lady Gaga, Mariah Carey, and Kristen Stewart
Reese Witherspoon, born March 22nd, photographed by Michael Thompson for W Magazine.
Diana Ross, born March 26th, photographed for W Magazine.
Pharrell Williams, born April 5th, photographed by Mario Sorrenti for W Magazine.
Lady Gaga, born March 28th, photographed by Katherine Wolkoff for W Magazine.
Celine Dion, born March 30th, photographed by Martien Mulder for W Magazine.
Keira Knightley, born March 26th, photographed by Steven Klein for W Magazine.
Model Paloma Elsesser, born April 12th, photographed by Alex Hodor-Lee for W Magazine.
Patricia Arquette, born April 8th, photographed by Alex Prager for W Magazine.
Sarah Jessica Parker, born March 25th, photographed by Michael Thompson for W Magazine.
Michael Fassbender, born April 2nd, photographed by Jeff Burton for W Magazine.
Elle Fanning, born April 9th, photographed by Mario Sorrenti for W Magazine.
Actor Paul Rudd, born April 6th, photographed by Andreas Laszlo Konrath for W Magazine.
Kristen Stewart, born April 9th, photographed by Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott for W Magazine.
Ewan McGregor, born March 31st, photographed by Dan Winters for W Magazine.
Saoirse Ronan, born April 12th, photographed by Mario Sorrenti for W Magazine.
Adrien Brody, born April 14th, photographed by Tierney Gearon for W Magazine.
Emma Thompson, born April 15th, photographed by Juergen Teller for W Magazine.
Victoria Beckham, born April 17th, photographed by Steven Klein for W Magazine.
Mariah Carey, born March 27th, photographed by Michael Thompson for W Magazine.
Jessica Chastain, born March 24th, photographed by Tim Walker for W Magazine.
David Oyelowo, born April 1st, photographed by Tim Walker for W Magazine.
Claire Danes, born April 12th, photographed by Inez & Vinoodh for W Magazine.
Rooney Mara, born April 17th, photographed by Mario Sorrenti for W Magazine.
Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, born April 18th, photographed by Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott for W Magazine.
Robert Downey Jr., born April 4th, photographed by Ari Marcopoulos for W Magazine.
Kate Hudson, born April 19th, photographed by Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott for W Magazine.
Emma Watson, born April 15th, photographed by Michael Thompson for W Magazine.
Luke Evans, born April 15th, photographed by Mert and Marcus for W Magazine.
Jennifer Garner, born April 17th, photographed by Craig McDean for W Magazine.
America Ferrera, born April 18th, photographed by Michael Thompson for W Magazine.
Dear Astro Poets,
I’m a Pisces and can feel myself falling in love with an Aquarius. But I don’t know how to let my guard down and actually get to know them because I instinctively keep things extremely light and funny and don’t express my feelings well. My intuition is strongly telling me this could be a wonderful thing, but I’m afraid I’ll ruin it before it starts. What do I do to take this thing to the next level?
A Pisces Feeling Feelings
Dear Pisces Feeling Feelings,
I’m a hopeless romantic, so I got excited to answer your question as soon as I saw it. I’ve known quite a few long-term and successful Pisces-Aquarius relationships, and I think it can work. It’s an interesting love connection because you’re not a classic match. You’re water and air—two elements that don’t naturally go together. You tend to be more on the emotional side, whereas your Aquarius can be more cerebral about their feelings, and always mediate them with a bit of reason. You’re also both not leaders, although each of you (especially Pisces) can sometimes pretend to be, making it hard for anyone to take the lead at the beginning stages of a relationship. This is why—sorry to say—if you do want this, you might have to be the one to make a move.
Celebrity Pisces: It’s Time for Rihanna to Shine Brighter Than Ever
Rihanna, born February 20. Photographed by Craig McDean for W magazine.
Drew Barrymore, born February 22. Photographed by Mert and Marcus for W magazine.
Alisha Boe, born March 6. Photographed by Tiffany Dawn Nicholson for W magazine, May 2018.
Oscar Isaac, born March 9. Photographed by Francesco Carrozzini for W magazine.
Cindy Crawford, born February 20. Photographed by Juergen Teller for W magazine.
Eva Mendes, born March 5. Photographed by Mert and Marcus for W magazine.
Millie Bobby Brown, born February 19. Photographed by Alasdair McLellan for W magazine.
Olivia Wilde, born March 10. Photographed by Juergen Teller for W magazine.
Rachel Weisz, born March 7. Photographed by Juergen Teller for W magazine.
Dakota Fanning, born February 23. Photographed by Inez and Vinoodh for W magazine.
Jessica Biel, born March 3. Photographed by Mikael Jansson for W magazine.
Ellen page, born February 21. Photographed by Caitlin Cronenberg for W magazine, 2017.
Daniel Craig, born March 2. Photographed by Jeremy Murch for W magazine.
Emily Blunt, born February 23. Photographed by Nigel Shafran for W magazine.
Lily Collins, born March 18. Photographed by Marton Perlaki for W magazine.
Miles Teller, born February 20. Photographed by Richard Burbridge for W magazine.
Something that you both share is intensity. Some people describe Aquarians as aloof, but I think that they simply don’t know Aquarians well. When Aquarians like someone or something, they are extremely obsessive, passionate, and possessive. They’re fixed signs, so once they’ve made a commitment, they don’t stray too far from it. As you’ve probably figured out by now, you’re pretty intense yourself. You thrive on a lot of attention from your partner, and if an Aquarian is into you, they’re well equipped to give you everything you’ve dreamed of.
You’re also next to each other on the zodiac’s karmic wheel, meaning that you’ve learned a lesson in your past life that your Aquarius needs to learn in this life. This attracts you to them and they to you, as they’ll want a source of solace. Karmic connections also produce a high level of sexual energy, so when you do get together physically, it’ll be wild and likely just as great as you imagined it to be.
Celebrity Aquarius Season With Oprah and Laura Dern
Alicia Keys, born January 25th. Photo by Mario Sorrenti for W Magazine.
Laura Dern, born February 10th. Photo by Juergen Teller for W Magazine.
Jennifer Aniston, born February 11th. Photo by Michael Thompson for W Magazine.
Evan Peters, born January 20th. Photo by Alasdair McClellan for W Magazine.
Oprah Winfrey, born January 29th. Photo by Juergen Teller for W Magazine.
Paris Hilton, born February 17th. Photo by Mayan Toledano For W Magazine.
Yara Shahidi, born February 10th. Photo by Alex Hodor Lee for W Magazine.
Ellen Degeneres, born January 26th, and Portia De Rossi, born January 31st. Photo by Michael Thompson for W Magazine.
Tom Hiddleston, born February 9th. Photo by Mona Kuhn for W Magazine.
Eiza Gonzalez, born January 30th. Photo by Bruno Staub for W Magazine.
Kerry Washington, born January 31st. Photo by Juergen Teller for W Magazine.
Ashton Kutcher, born February 7th. Photo by Pari Dukovic for W Magazine.
Emma Roberts, born February 10th. Photo by Inez and Vinoodh for W Magazine.
Elizabeth Olsen, born February 16th. Photo by Alex Prager for W magazine.
Justin Timberlake, born January 31st. Photo by Platon Antoniou for W Magazine.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt, born February 17th. Photo by Juergen Teller for W Magazine.
Benicio del Toro, born February 19th. Photo by Peter Lindbergh for W Magazine.
Chloë Grace Moretz, born February 10th. Photo by Rineke Dijkstra for W Magazine.
Michael B. Jordan, born February 9th. Photo by Tim Walker for W Magazine.
Christina Ricci, born February 12th. Photo by Mert and Marcus for W Magazine.
All of this is to say that you should tell your Aquarius how you feel. They won’t be scandalized by someone expressing themselves honestly—they’re an air sign. I hope they’ll confess their feelings too, but if they don’t in that moment, don’t give up hope—they’ll do so eventually. Last thing: in the midst of all this, don’t feel any pressure to refrain from being light and funny, except when necessary. “Funny” is every Aquarian’s middle name. Not taking anything too seriously? They like things that way.
Sending you love luck from here,
Dorothea, an Aries
Related: The Astro Poets Can Confirm That You’re in For a Lusty Summer
The 9 Most Unexpected Celebrity Couples Who’ve Survived 2018 So Far
We should have known this year of unexpected commitment was coming after 2017 ended with Gwen Stefani telling Giada De Laurentiis that she and Blake Shelton—who became both People’s Sexiest Man Alive and her soulmate seemingly overnight—don’t actually talk to each other much. Instead, they prefer to “just sing like a musical, and everything we sing is like ‘I love you.’ It’s pretty much the whole time like how great we are.” That’s pretty much all they’ve been telling the media over the past year, too—even though they’ve been dating since late 2015. If they’re suddenly genuinely as lovestruck as they seem to be, then best wishes. We just can’t help but shake the idea that something must be off, though, since neither of them has ever once showed a single sign of reluctance when it comes to fawning over the other. Or exhaustion. Or, in fact, anything less than ecstatic enthusiasm. Which is in itself exhausting.
This past May was an eventful one for Ariana Grande and Saturday Night Live cast member Pete Davidson: they both broke off years-long relationships, then announced that they’d already entered into a new one and were dating each other. The weeks since have seen them get engaged; repeatedly assert their commitment to each other via a steady flow of relationship-related tattoos; move in together; and even go rug-shopping. Meanwhile, Grande has been wearing not only the nearly $100,000 diamond engagement ring he gifted her, but also a sweatshirt with his face on it. For his part, Davidson, who’s wont to leave comments like “our love is beautiful” on Grande’s Instagram, posted a gram of his own for her birthday, captioned “happy birthday to the most precious angel on earth! you’re my favorite person that ever existed 🙂 i love you sm.” It’s all just a lot.
As seen here, Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra first drew attention to themselves as a couple at last year’s Met Gala by showing up to the red carpet together—a result, apparently, of both being dressed by and seated with Ralph Lauren. That was easy enough to believe at the time, their differences in age (10 years) and backgrounds (Bollywood and the Disney Channel), but they’ve spent the past month basically making a point to show just how much they’ve been hitting it off, publicly flirting on Instagram (sample comment: “that smile”), introducing each other to their families, and, before long, and making their relationship Instagram official at the end of this June.
Congratulations are in order for Kourtney Karadashian and Younes Bendjima, because honestly, we never thought they’d last this long—or still be having this much fun. The model and former boxer started dating the eldest Kardashian sister late last year, when he was 24, having met when he helped her family out with a bit of translation after Kim Kardashian’s traumatic robbery. Their 13-year age difference might bother Kourtney’s ex, Scott Disick, but the couple seems like they couldn’t care less: over the past few years, they’ve rode camels through the Egyptian desert, managed to take infinity room selfies, and taken mysterious private jets just for the fun of it. (By the way, they’re currently on a family vacation with Kourtney’s three kids in Portofino.) Whatever ends up happening, it looks like they’ll certainly end up considering their relationship fun while it lasted, which seems much more positive than what Sofia Richie will say about things with Disick.
A lot of things go down each year on the red carpet of the Met Gala; P. Diddy, for example, literally laid down on the museum’s stairs in 2017, the same year that saw, as you may recall, Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra pair up, and Jaden Smith choose a handful of his shorn dreadlocks as his date. This year, though, the murmurs were all about the musician Grimes and the billionaire investor-engineer-eccentric Elon Musk arriving arm-in-arm, confirming what no one knew until then: that, after meeting on Twitter, they were officially dating. As if to underline their incongruence, Musk wore a James Bond-like black-and-white tux, while Grimes repped the mall goths, with a head of messy black hair and a pair of platform knee-high boots.
As a mutually beneficial marriage of the former’s reputation, and the latter’s fortune, the attraction between the”Hot Felon” Jeremy Meeks and Topshop heiress Chloe Green makes complete sense. What we didn’t see coming, though, was that their relationship, which began in May of 2017, would escalate to the point of Green giving birth to her first child with Meeks. Good thing that divorce with his ex-wife did end up coming through earlier this year!
Less than two years into dating, Khloé Kardashian and Tristan Thompson already had enough drama go down between them that keeping track of it all required referencing a very helpful timeline. All that, of course, escalated when Thompson was apparently caught cheating on Kardashian, just before she gave birth to their baby, True. Whereas Khloé has made a point to defend their relationship, we’ve only heard a peep or two from Tristan. Whether they’ll keep giving it a go or not, ultimately, Kim has the real say here: she’s made it crystal clear that if he pulls any more moves like blocking her again, it’s over.
It’s been a full year since Ben Affleck, who split with Jennifer Garner after more than a decade of marriage in 2015, started dating the Saturday Night Live producer Lindsay Shookus. (Though there have been plenty of rumors that they’d actually been dating for years, aka during their past marriages, too.) Is their shared loved for iced coffee really that strong? Of course, there could be more than their relationship than that, but if there is, we’ve yet to hear of it. In fact, the most recent news about the couple is that they’re so far spending the summer “they’re enjoying doing normal couple things and exploring L.A. together.”
Listen, Kendall Jenner knows that there’s a good chance you think she’s not exactly interested in men. She’ll also go as far in attempting to dissuade you from that notion by asserting in a magazine cover story that she doesn’t think she has “a bisexual or gay bone in [her] body.” Coming from a member of perhaps the most image-conscious family in the world, though, the lack of seamlessness here, from the apparent lack of romance in her recent relationship with Blake Griffin to her newfound one with another basketball player, Ben Simmons, suggests that something’s amiss. We all know that Kris Jenner reigns supreme over the rumor mill, which has recently been reporting that the pair might not be official, but is indeed “pretty inseparable.” At least one of their recent appearances has told a much less titillating story, however—unless you consider going grocery shopping together a hot date.
