CULTURE

Bella Hadid Opens Up About Mental Health in Tear-Filled Instagram Post: “Social Media is Not Real”

by Carolyn Twersky

 Bella Hadid is seen in Tribeca
Gotham/GC Images

Bella Hadid took a break from posting her stylized modeling images on Instagram to break down the walls a little and get real about her own personal mental health struggles, with some help from Willow Smith.

On Tuesday, Hadid shared an Instagram post that started off with a video of Smith speaking about collective anxiety and doubt. “That feeling of not thinking that you’re good enough or being insecure about your art is natural, but at the same time, I feel like it’s taught,” Smith says. “People forget that everyone is basically feeling the same way: lost, confused, not really sure why they’re here. That anxiety, like, everyone is feeling that and trying to cover it up in some way. We’re gonna come together in our flaws. In our insecurities, in our joy, in our happiness, and accept it all as beautiful and natural. That’s what’s gonna break down those walls and make everyone be like, ‘Nah, I understand you and your pain and your joy. We’re gonna be OK.’”

Hadid wrote in the caption of her post that Smith’s words made her feel “less alone” and prompted her to make an Instagram post in the first place. In the slides that follow, we see multiple close-up shots of Hadid crying, with the last one showing her hooked up to some sort of IV. “This is pretty much my everyday, every night for a few years now,” she admitted. “Social media is not real. For anyone struggling, please remember that.”

The model continued, saying, “Sometimes all you’ve gotta hear is that you’re not alone. So from me to you, you’re not alone. I love you, I see you, and I hear you. Self help and mental illness/chemical imbalance is not linear and it is almost like a flowing rollercoaster of obstacles…it has its ups and downs, and side to sides. But I want you to know, there is always light at the end of the tunnel, and the rollercoaster always comes to a complete stop at some point.”

Hadid admitted that for her, “it’s always been nice to know that even if it’s a few days, weeks, or months, it does get better, to some extent, even for a moment.” She said she’s had “enough breakdowns and burnouts” to learn that “if you work hard enough on yourself, spending time alone to understand your traumas, triggers, joys, and routine, you will always be able to understand or learn more about your own pain and how to handle it.” Hadid ended her message saying that it feels “harder and harder” to share her truth on Instagram. “Thank you for seeing me and thank you for listening. I love you.”

This is hardly the first time Hadid has opened up about her mental health. In November 2019, while at the Vogue Fashion Festival in Paris she spoke about her struggle to balance her glamorous life and her struggles with depression.

“For a while I just didn’t want to talk about it, and I’ve gone through a lot in the past few years with my health,” she said. “I feel guilty for being able to live this incredible life, have the opportunities that I do, but somehow still be depressed. It doesn’t make sense.” She continued, saying, “I would cry every single morning, I would cry during my lunch breaks, I would cry before I slept. I was very emotionally unstable for a while when I was working 14-hour days for four months straight as an 18-year-old. I think I just wanted to breathe a little bit. And so it kind of put me in a spiral.”

Now, it seems like Hadid has found a better balance in her work. Thanks to her supermodel status, she can take jobs as she wishes, while taking breaks when necessary. The model notably did not partake in any runways during the spring/summer fashion month earlier this year.

Hadid’s comments also come as drama surrounding her family continues to play out publicly. Late last month it was revealed that her sister, Gigi Hadid, and Zayn Malik had broken up, allegedly following a fight that turned physical between Malik and Bella’s mom, Yolanda Hadid. According to TMZ, Malik has been charged with four counts harassment, to which he pled no contest, leaving him with a fine and an order to taker anger management courses.