The Most Expensive Way to Treat Yourself on Valentine’s Day

Step 1: You have a long, exhausting day of pampering ahead of you, so it’s important to start with a hearty breakfast. Take an Uber XL to Sadelle’s in SoHo for the $100 smoked salmon tower.

Step 2: If you didn’t add caviar to your breakfast, you can still have it on your face with the “Reparative Caviar & Oxygen Quench” facial at the Surrey’s Cornelia Spa ($325).

Step 3: La Prairie Spa at The Ritz-Carlton New York, Central Park also does a white caviar treatment, ($1,250), in case you haven’t had enough.

Step 4: God forbid you smell like caviar all day. Get back in that Uber XL and head over to the By Kilian Boutique for some bespoke perfume ($35,000, no returns).

Step 5: Take a breather (and sniff your new perfume) in someone else’s apartment for an hour using the Breather app ($100/hour).

Step 6: For a light lunch, get a $37 salad at Fred’s, with a side of shoes at Barneys.

Step 7: For an alcoholic siesta, try Caudalie’s vinotherapie treatments at the Plaza, which include a merlot wrap, scrub, and “wine maker’s massage” ($145-205).

Step 8: To avoid the heartbreak of seeing a movie alone, just rent out the whole theater (price upon request).

Step 9: Why book an expensive hotel room when you can get an entire house to yourself for around $2,000 with airbnb?

Step 10: Make sure to rent a place with a doorman, since you won’t have access to room service. End the day with a different kind of Caviar—the app that lets you order Blue Ribbon sushi and OddFellows ice cream online. Then try Minibar for alcohol delivered to your door.